Emotional Attachments to our Stuff

One problem we have in staying organized is what to do with our things especially when we have too many to fit in our spaces.  The lasting solution is, of course, to reduce the number of things we have to those that will reasonably fit in the spaces designated for them.  Unfortunately we (yes I am including myself) hesitate to let our things go because we have emotional attachments to them. 

Over the last 2 weeks I have been reminded of these attachments through a sermon (do you own things or do they own you), a facebook posting (letting go of a well used but worn out bookbag was emotional) and an article summarizing a study on how materialism takes a toll on marriages (Daily Press, March 11, 2012).  In my work as a professional organizer, I see clients confront many emotions including fear and sentiment as they struggle with decisions in downsizing crowded closets, drawers, garages, attics, etc. 

Fear often manifests itself as "I am afraid to let it go because I might need it and won't have it", while the facts remain that it has been around for years and never used, and should it be needed in the future the opportunity to buy or borrow it will be there. 

Sentiment may be a much stronger deterent to letting items go because of strong emotional attachments to them.  Pictures of good times together, souveniers of special events, handmade items or gifts from special people, etc. create memories we love.  The struggle remains because we fear getting rid of the items will get rid of the memories.  The reality is those memories are stored in our brains and our feelings for those relationships will never go away.  It is, after all, the relationships that are important in our lives, not the things that represent them.

Another somewhat less emotional excuse for attachment is "I paid good money for it and letting it go is like throwing that money away."  This is valid if the item is not depreciating as you own it but actually gaining in value (very difficult for anything in this economy).  You pay for gas and burn it up, food and eat it up, clothes and wear them out, etc.  You get the picture.  The items are probably not worth now what you paid for them, but they may be important to someone less fortunate.  Passing them on may actually add value to them and a blessing to those that need them.

In the article on materialism, the lead author summarizes that materialism was associated with less emotional maturity in spouses.  In my personal and professional experience, I would not only agree with him but add that being able to let go of our excess and not crave more than we need is an expression of emotional and spiritual maturity.  In the big picture, it is investing time and energy in our relationships and not in accumulating and keeping stuff that adds to our quality of life.  This is a challenge for all of us.